Often in the throughs of our pain, we like to look for an escape. I have witnessed this in my numerous encounter with my clients during therapy. Pain is the one emotion that we can never seem to get a handle on, and our past coping mechanisms don’t seem to be handy when we are faced with a new situation of pain.
Last week I lost a close mentor and a person I highly regard. When the news was first broken to me, I was in a state of confusion, I felt lost. This is one individual who contributed greatly to my career and forever changed my view of the work that I do. He taught me how to see beyond what a person presents with on the surface, to look at an individual wholistically and above all to never stop questioning and seeking. So in my book he was immortal, death had nothing on him. The irony is that because he was not conventional, he was the kind of man who spoke his mind without sensoring himself and that can tend to rub a lot of people the wrong way, he was loved and hated in equal measure. Quite a number of people could not understand why it is I was enomoured by him. However just like he had taught me to see beyond the surface, I saw what he was beyond the surface, in my opinion a deep caring individual who was out to bring some light into the world in his own way. And that’s through giving the best to his patients as a physician.
Today I heard a quote as I was watching a series and one of the characters said to another that causing suffering to others will not fix our pain, however facing our traumas is what will bring us to healing. Even as I was processing the loss of my greatest mentor in the past week, a majority of my clients have lost multiple people as a result of covid to the point that they are numb and haven’t a clue on what to do.
We are living in unprecedented times as this pandemic is not a situation most of us have had to deal with before. And the chaos and losses it is wrecking is on multiple fronts so that most of us feel helpless on how to process or deal. All of us are having to learn on the go.
But here is the thing. Catastrophic events have happened on planet earth before. Our ancestors in different generations had their fair share. Yet somehow they found a way to keep going, and our being here, not having gone extinct is a testament to that. A close elder I respect said to me the other day, every generation has it’s unique problems but also their own solutions.
As unprecedented, uncertain, chaotic and unpredictable this times may seem, we will figure it out. Together. But first let’s remember to keep hydrated, fed, rested then take it up from there. One minute after another. As we remember solutions mostly come from a point of soberness, and we may be required to unplug, whatever unplugging may look like for you, in order to get that sober headspace. Then keep moving. We all are in this together.
Please use this for information purposes only. It is not a substitute for seeking out professional help. The views expressed here in are from my personal experiences as well as from those I have interacted with. And while one may resonate with what is shared, it’s not a substitute for appreciating your own unique personal experience. Always do your own research and due deligence on any topic to guard against being hoodwinked