In my teens, I was very idealistic. I thought I had my life figured out. Even saw in my diary for back then I had planned to get married latest by 25. Well I also wrote I hope to be a practicing psychologist by the time I got to 30 years of age, and that did come to pass so me I am a believer in manifesting 😅. But listen, I am a realist as well, more of this later.
So when I clocked 20s, it started getting rather bumpy especially between the ages of 23- 27. 27 was particularly awful but let me say I think this was the beginning of the end of idealism and starting to prefer getting grounded in reality a little more. And like with all aspects of growth it’s been a gradual process and now at 37, a decade later, it’s like I am a whole new person. How?
You see when you have been conditioned (I will do a post, and may be a YouTube video on how conditioning works soon 🤔) to have faith, it kind of makes you dissociate. What do I mean? You create this world in your head that you would love to see come to be, then get so consumed in it to a point you detach from what your actual reality is . This is the mindset that gets into a relationship because you both have good chemistry then hopes that all the other fundamental things eg are you equally yoked matters goals, vision etc, what is the background of your potential partner and are you willing to co-exist in light of their weakness vs yours, what are their core value system and is it in alignment to yours, will magically work out. It’s the kind of mind that will be asked to make an investment say of kshs 5000 and earn shs 20,000, and jump at it without asking questions as what’s the deal, what’s the product being invested in, how is this sustainable etc. Why because this mindset is more about believing. It’s been pre-conditioned to never question. Of course culture is what informs some of this basics like the value system and how to raise a child to be in the society. At this time we have an idea that our history tells us what was there before was abruptly and rudely disrupted and we are now under a new world order. But do we consciously engage with what the values of the new world order are, and is it really working for us?
Sadly the kind of education most of us received does not equip us to do a good indepth analysis. As a matter of fact most of us hate reading and will say a lot of derogatory things about studying. And in the past because I did not know better I have also participated in downplaying the value of education, especially formal education. Now I know better.
I’m I saying faith is a bad thing? Of course not. For the most part we start with a theory and what makes us move forward is some level of faith it will work. So we can say it’s a fuel. But, ya there has to be a but, it’s not enough to have faith. As reality dictates that we must have information in order to know how to proceed. And it will save you a lot if you have correct information, which comes from questioning and studying. People ask how were we conquered and subdued as a people here in Africa? Well we were studied for a very long time and when the conquerors came, they were not operating on Faith but strategy informed by study and analysis. And so yes have faith but also question and endeavour to get all the necessary information, it will make your faith more solid. Never assume, anything. Good vibes, chemistry, are awesome but I wouldn’t suggest making decisions solely on this. Use them as tools to make you get more information and then from that make a decision. That’s how getting grounded in reality looks like 🤔
Please use this for information purposes only. It is not a substitute for seeking out professional help. The views expressed here in are from my personal experiences as well as from those I have interacted with. And while one may resonate with what is shared, it’s not a substitute for appreciating your own unique personal experience. Always do your own research and due deligence on any topic to guard against being hoodwinked