The trap with the capitalistic system is that it pushes you to be competitive. And that then will manifests as feelings of jealousy towards those you perceive as your competition or that are doing better than you. Competition means you are always comparing against something, are on a fight or flight mode, are hyper-vigilant, are hyper-aroused…. It then will shame and guilt you for feeling jealous, or any behavior that will come up as a result of this. Of course not being conscious of what is really going on means you will participate in behaviours as berating, belittling, bullying, plagiarism etc further participating in not only injuring yourself but others. That adage hurting people hurt people is so paradoxical when you think about it in this context in the sense, how do you escape?
I was listening to some of the lectures over the weekend after the documentary ‘Wisdom of Trauma’ (please look into the documentary if you haven’t already, I promise you will learn something) and I especially was taken by the interview between Resmaa Manakem and Gabor. And there’s something Resmaa said that I thought was simple but profound in it’s own way. And that has to do with how we deal with uncomfortable emotions that come up as a result of being confronted with especially reality that we were not prepared for. You see people say awakening is ugly, and it is that way because you are coming into knowledge that is challenging your deep held beliefs which you have been conditioned (I know, I will do the post on this ) since Childhood. Unlearning something that you have held as truth is painful, because this belief is part of who you are. But just because you want something to be true, will not make it so. We do so much damage not only to ourselves but others in the process of fighting reality and wanting to maintain our fantasy paradigms. Do you see how we come for strangers on social media based on gossip or someone’s interpretation as opposed to our own research and analysis, just but one example. You can then see why very few people pursue knowledge, and it is easy to control masses if you are an efficient propagandist (let’s be clear propaganda is a tool, it’s neither good or bad. The question is, whatever version you are consuming, when you look at your life, is it working in your best interest?). And this is where then culture comes in, but this isn’t the point of this post.
So what was profound for me from the interview between Resmaa and Gabor? Resmaa said that we tend to bypass the discomfort that arise within when confronted with truth by reaching for justifications eg that’s how it has always been or insert your to go to consolation phrase. However if we want to rise and break some patterns we must learn to go into that negative energy that arises, stay with everything that we feel taking deep in and out breathes for however long it will take, because that’s how to diffuse it. You can never logic away emotions. Wow.
The more I have been going into community, the more I learn that indeed true and deep healing cannot happen outside a community, outside a support system. Beloved who has read up to this point, look to where you are, ask questions, have conversations with your peers. You will realize what you deal with isn’t unique to you. But please don’t let the shame and guilt from the system eat at you and destroy you xx
Please use this for information purposes only. It is not a substitute for seeking out professional help. The views expressed here in are from my personal experiences as well as from those I have interacted with. And while one may resonate with what is shared, it’s not a substitute for appreciating your own unique personal experience. Always do your own research and due deligence on any topic to guard against being hoodwinked